Jitterbug in Commercial Form

Msg From Gordon

meow

meow

MEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW

cat lady

meow
wroking

mmmmmmmmeeeoooowwwwww meow

I mean

meeoooowwww

working

HATES ME meow

never mmmmeeeeeeooooooooooooooooowwww

comes

home.

Here Little Girl, Wanna Pet My Kitten?

"Is there any way I can get you to take a ride around the park on my bike with me?"

And with those words the cat lady almost choked.

Because apparently he couldn't read the "Fuck Off" stamped across her face.

Or in this case her butt because he came up from behind. On his motorcycle.

With his long unwashed hair blowing in the wind.

All while the cat lady was at the park, trying to get her sweat on. Oh my.

first thought:

No, you aren't wearing a helmet and don't seem to have a spare.

second thought:

Seriously, helmet is your first thought?

third thought:

This is how you get your girls?!

fourth thought:

I wonder if the cat lady equivalent of creepy dude luring kids to his van with candy would be creepy biker with a kitten.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why the cat lady is sitting on the couch working on her third ding dong and has vowed to never exercise again.

Cat Ladies Are In

Yeah, no shit, Glamour. Tell me something I don't already know.

Identity Theft

Bracket Schmracket

Gordon wants a redo.

Turns out some of those teams with lame mascots cheated.

Who would let a dog into the final four?

Especially a lame squatty looking one.

Anyway. Moving on.

Gordon is currently accepting bids for his services.

His mascot services to be more precise.

Wildcat, Bobcat or House Cat?

You decide.

No One Wants To Be THAT Girl

So I'm sitting at work today minding my own business, keeping my cat ladyness to myself when I get this email. "Do you have a cat carrier I can borrow?"

Well, yes I do, but um.....?

Said email came from someone I don't know very well. Someone I have never spoken to about Gordy and Jitty-mow. In response to the confirmation that yes, I do own one, and yes he is welcome to borrow it I get: "So are you a former or a current cat owner?"

So. The question becomes; did someone tell on me or do I just have that look??

Or worse yet, that smell?

This is serious business people. I am concerneed.