You're Invited!

Cat Lady Awareness Day Party

When: February 14, 2011 5:00 pm
Where: The Dentist's Office

A fee of $25 per tooth + insurance will be collected at the door.
An after party will take place at the cat lady's humble abode.
Chocolate is not necessary but much appreciated.

Twu Wuv

Laundry: Jitterbug's one true love.

Needing More Mow

This might be best while listening to this in the background:



If you're going out
with someone new
then I'm getting a cat
or maybe two

I won't feel sorry for me
J and I are blogging
but we know what I need
is more mooooow

Running around on a nip high, yeah
Napping on the couch Saturday night
you made fun of me for gettin more mow
got a two bedroom just to lock 'em in

I call the Wretch at 3 am
I'm fightin' with the Gord again
but I need, I need, I need
more moooooowwww, yeah

I won't sit
at home at night
and wait for the mows
to find me

call up the shelter
to deliver one
end up with a dog when I'd much rather sleep
with more moooowwww

Like we did in Texas last summer
with the ceiling fan on we took cover
too damn hot and filled with fear
Jitty whispered in my ear

I hate my life, let's get out of here
Ah, if you ever decide to move
then I'll go, I'll go, I'll go

I can go out every night of the week
can pick up any kitty I meet
but its just a temporary high
cause when I close my eyes

I need more mooooooowwww
need more moooowwww

If you see me
out at the 'mart
and it looks like
I'm running a pound

you won't ask
and I wont say
but in my heart I'm alwaaaays
needing more moooowww

Running around on a nip high, yeah
Napping on the couch Saturday night
you made fun of me for gettin more mow
got a two bedroom just to lock 'em in

I call the Wretch at 3 am
I'm fightin' with the Gord again
but I need, I need, I need

I can go out every night of the week
can pick up any kitty I meet
but its just a temporary high
cause when I close my eyes

I need more moooowwww
need more mooooooowwwwwwww
need more moooooowwww
I.need.more.mow.

Busted

Gordon must have known the cat lady was going to be working late last night


because


he


threw


a


party...

The Eternal Question

Occasionally the cat lady needs to venture out, make sure the rest of the world is still there, judge those not worthy of the cat lady life style. Tonight was one such night. Complete with a jam session to Ace of Base in the car (the other drivers love this one). The cat lady was astonished by all she saw. As you will soon understand...thanks to the cell phone camera. Now. Onto the meat of this post. Or as Jitterbug would say, the meow of the post.

There are some things that are just not appropriate when there are several inches of snow on the ground. Now, judgement of the Target management team (who are probably at the company headquarters in MN by the way) aside, what do we think of the purple number?

The cat lady is loving the person who decided (while looking at valentines labeled as "perfect for school") that she didn't really need the satin snowflake push-up bra after all. Probably a good idea. Stick with the holey, stained, flesh colored piece of work you've been wearing for a couple of years now. Wouldn't want to have to buy yet another box of lame valentines in a few years when the product of that bra gets old enough for school.

And now for the main event, the eternal question that has been plaguing mankind since the beginning of time:


Why don't they make these in a size other than twin??

Go ahead, have your own jam session while you contemplate the answer

Automatic Cat Washing Machine

I think it would really sell. Minus the now dirty dishes.

President of the Cool Club

What I learned today:

Sometimes it is so cold you have to drive through the 12 degree weather with your windows down to keep your breath from fogging from the windshield.

Sometimes the drive home lost from a date is better than the date itself.

I may not be president of the cool club, but at least I am not president of the chess club.

Well That Was Awkward....Date Night Dessert

2 1/2 cups boiling water
2 3 oz. packages of Jello (we prefer strawberry)
1 container of fat-full Cool Whip

Stir water into Jello and whisk until dissolved. Add Cool Whip, whisk until blended.

Pour into cat hair free Tupperware container. Refrigerate 3 hours.

Consume entire container.

Glamour Shots

Snow days are lame
Snow nights are too
Especially when there is little to do
....Except have a photo session!!

Workin' it. Clearly.

Shot in the Ass

The vet called today.
Time for Jitterbug's rabies shot.
She is not pleased.

Jitterbug's Favorite Soup

2 finely chopped onions
1/3 cup olive oil
4 minced garlic cloves
1 28 oz can of tomatoes
1 bay leaf
1 tsp dried basil
1 tsp dried parsley
1 can cannellini beans
4 cups water
1 can chicken broth
1 cup white wine (we prefer Fat Bastard Chardonnay)
4 oz dried pasta (the little stars are yum)
1 bag dried cat food

Saute the onions for 2 minutes, add garlic and saute another 2 minutes.

Add tomatoes and spices, simmer for 3 minutes.

Add the beans, water, wine, broth. Stir and bring the soup to a boil. Cover and cook for 15 minutes. Add pasta, cook for another 5.

Pour kitties a bowl of food, scarf soup.

Intervention Necessary

And I thought I had problems.







Warning to my favorite 2 year old follower: These videos contain words your mommy uses in the car. Long live mows!

Get Your Drank On

Last night I had a revelation. This cat lady is officially too old for the late night drunken scene. This is what we will be doing around here today:

We have a lot of this going on this week....

Meet my cat, Impulse

Sometimes the cat lady has a problem with impulse purchases. Like the time her car was overheating so she pulled over at the furniture store and bought a couch. And a chair.

Or last night when she went to get her haircut and it turned into a haircut/eyebrow wax with a facial appointment the next day. At least she was able to say no when the words "chemical peel" were uttered.

Or the time she went to Petsmart for cat food and came home with a cat. Jitterbug is pleased about this one. Her name would have been Impulse if it wasn't so totally lame. Honest to blog.

12 Nights After Christmas...

'Twas twelve nights after Christmas and all through cat-lady-dom,
the cat lady was on a frenzy fueled by remnants of eggnog and rum;
The stockings were coming down, the walls were looking bare,
When Gordy gave a look that said "Don't you dare.";

For he was curled up ready for a snooze,
give it up cat, you are gonna lose.


Christmas is over.
I want my wreath back.

Alcohol Abuse

The setting: The cat lady's boudoir, late last night

The characters: Jitterbug and the cat lady

The cat lady is lying in bed performing typical cat lady activities; Reading, drinking beer, polishing off the last of the NYE gummy worms (can you say par-tay?!). Jitterbug approaches and eyes the relatively clutter free nightstand. As the cat lady likes to keep things relatively clean, the nightstand only contains, in addition to a fine layer of insulating cat hair; 1 lamp, 1 beer, 2 bottles of lotion, 2 bottles of water, and 4 books. Again, relatively clean. Sadly, this is all prior to the addition to 1 cat. Apparently 1 lamp + 2 bottles of lotion + 2 bottles of water +4 books + 1 cat worth of cat hair + 1 cat = -1 beer

R.I.P.: Leinenkugel's




Innocent, my ass.

Introducing......Jitterbug

Favorite color: orange

Favorite food: canned tuna

Favorite drink: whole milk

Favorite toy: orange mousey

Hobbies: eating plants, regurgitating plants, rubbing on stuff, looking cute

Goals: to take down Gordon

Favorite quote: "How in the world any one weighing 185 pounds can be cute is beyond me." - Vaughn Monroe

Introducing......Gordon

Favorite color: blood red

Favorite food: tortilla chips

Favorite drink: blue gatorade

Favorite toy: feather birdy

Favorite sport: NASCAR

Hobbies: inflicting terror, stealing fresh tampons from under the bathroom sink, getting wasted at the vet

Goals: world domination

Favorite quote: "Let us have a dagger between our teeth, a bomb in our hands, and an infinite scorn in our hearts" - Benito Mussolini

The Cat Lady Begins

There was a young lady who didn't live in a shoe
She only had two cats; minimal amounts of poo
One day she got tired of reading other's blogs
Pregnancy tickers and kids eating like hogs
So she decided to branch out and create her own brand
What is a girl to do without any hopes of a man?