Bracket Schmracket

Gordon wants a redo.

Turns out some of those teams with lame mascots cheated.

Who would let a dog into the final four?

Especially a lame squatty looking one.

Anyway. Moving on.

Gordon is currently accepting bids for his services.

His mascot services to be more precise.

Wildcat, Bobcat or House Cat?

You decide.

Partyin' Like It's 2005!

It was the party to which all future parties will be compared.

We pulled out all the stops. Because its not every day that Gordon King of All Awesome Cats turns 6 whole years old.

There were blind-folded games

And cute Jitty mow friends.

A "How many hats can you balance on the Gord?" contest

And cake. Of course.

Served on fine Hello Kitty china. Of course.

CELEBRATE!

It's somebody's birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Birthday party pics are on their way. Eventually.

Gordon is currently celebrating by chasing Jitterbug.

She is not pleased.

And now. In the tradition that is horrible blogs.

The annual "about you" section.

Yep. Gonna happen. Brace yourself.

Gordon, at 6 years old you:

Weigh: more than you should, last time we were at the vet she called you "obese". That was after she had to knock you out with some tranquilizers because you went ape shit on the place. I would have too, smelled like dog pee up in there.

Eat: Everything. All the time. And you like it fresh from the bag. None of that kibble that has been sitting out for a few hours.

Sleep: All day, Everyday. Anywhere and everywhere.

Love: Your bestest friend, Jittybugs.

Wear: Well nothing. That would be weird.

Gordon has decided that to end the night he would like to give himself a pedicure.

Pretty much how I spent my birthday.

Like cat, like cat lady.

Its Plenty Warm Inside

Some days living with Gordon is like living with a guy. A human guy. He doesn't clean up his messes, takes up more than his fair share of the bed and whines for me to get out of the bathroom in the morning. I'm not even going to mention the blowing the lid off of the kitty litter box habit. Oh wait, just did. But last night was the night of all nights. The cat de resistance, if you will. Last night Gordon left the freezer door open. all night. ALL NIGHT.

ALL NIGHT!

And so this weekend Jitterbug and I will be feasting on the wide array of foods that Gordon so thoughtfully defrosted for us. She even suggested we throw a party.

All are welcome. Starts Friday at 5pm.

Menu includes meatloaf, tacos, defrosted frozen bread dough, melted popsicles in a wide variety of flavors, raw beef, homemade chili, and defrosted mango chunks.

Solitary Confinement

Following the day the cat lady left town

Jitterbug tried to hold the fort down

but when that didnt work

and she was sick of the jerk

she locked herself in the laundry room

all the while meowing "lack of litter will be your doom"

But the cat lady has reason to celebrate

because Gordon didn't urinate (much)

he now wont let her out of his sight

and is trying with all his 18 pounds of might

to permanently hold down the pretty pink suitcase

because without the cat lady won't leave home base

Snuggle Time!

Overdose.

Remember how cute this was?!?!

Well.


Turns out that it is possible to overdose. In pot.

Yes, behind furniture is where the cat lady stores all the pictures she is too lazy to hang. And yes, that would be almost every picture she owns.

You know the little sticker on every vacuum that says it has excellent suckage power along the edge? It lies. The deposit not returned upon move out is coming from Gordon's allowance.

High In Pot

There are some things that just cannot be explained about this cat.

High on nip and high in pot, very confusing.

Busted

Gordon must have known the cat lady was going to be working late last night


because


he


threw


a


party...

Automatic Cat Washing Machine

I think it would really sell. Minus the now dirty dishes.

12 Nights After Christmas...

'Twas twelve nights after Christmas and all through cat-lady-dom,
the cat lady was on a frenzy fueled by remnants of eggnog and rum;
The stockings were coming down, the walls were looking bare,
When Gordy gave a look that said "Don't you dare.";

For he was curled up ready for a snooze,
give it up cat, you are gonna lose.


Christmas is over.
I want my wreath back.

Introducing......Gordon

Favorite color: blood red

Favorite food: tortilla chips

Favorite drink: blue gatorade

Favorite toy: feather birdy

Favorite sport: NASCAR

Hobbies: inflicting terror, stealing fresh tampons from under the bathroom sink, getting wasted at the vet

Goals: world domination

Favorite quote: "Let us have a dagger between our teeth, a bomb in our hands, and an infinite scorn in our hearts" - Benito Mussolini