Alcohol Abuse

The setting: The cat lady's boudoir, late last night

The characters: Jitterbug and the cat lady

The cat lady is lying in bed performing typical cat lady activities; Reading, drinking beer, polishing off the last of the NYE gummy worms (can you say par-tay?!). Jitterbug approaches and eyes the relatively clutter free nightstand. As the cat lady likes to keep things relatively clean, the nightstand only contains, in addition to a fine layer of insulating cat hair; 1 lamp, 1 beer, 2 bottles of lotion, 2 bottles of water, and 4 books. Again, relatively clean. Sadly, this is all prior to the addition to 1 cat. Apparently 1 lamp + 2 bottles of lotion + 2 bottles of water +4 books + 1 cat worth of cat hair + 1 cat = -1 beer

R.I.P.: Leinenkugel's




Innocent, my ass.